www.UpTheDeise.com, The Waterford People's Website!
I days of yore, there was a legend of a blaa made of pure gold. But this wasn't just any old blaa... no, "De Golden Blaa," as it was known, was a magical blaa that would bestow upon it's owner great riches amongst other things. The blaa, like any other blaa when dusted, released a cloud of dust particles. However, unlike normal blaas, De Golden Blaa didn't release a cloud of flour... it released a cloud of pure gold dust that could be collected by the owner, every time they puffed it, and then melted into gold bullion, pieces of 8 or whatever the owner desired (even golden leprechaun conkers if they so desired, but I digress).
Pictured Above: De Golden Blaa
De Golden Blaa was the holy grail of every vagabond, gowlbag, scallywag,
scoundrel and scumbag known to man, but after it was lost it faded into the
foggy past, into the oraphus of time itself (and I'll bet it hurt too).
One night, Mullanimal and Wellboy were out on de tear havin a good auld craic
and they had had wan or two too many...
Pictured above: Mullanimal out of his tree
Mullanimal said to Wellboy, Arrr Harrrrrr Master Boy, we must search for the
poirat tressure called de golden blaa so that we can pay for me red lead habbit.
I'm losin weight boy, I need a fix, and if I don't find it, I fear it will be
the end of me aarrr harrrrr!
Wellboy said, "why are you talking like that Mully?"
Mullanimal said, "Arr harrrr, all Waterford people speak like this arr harr, we
all spake like poirats boy arrr harr, just try it... make yer voice husky and
end yer sentences with arrr harrrr me boy"
Wellboy ahemed and cleared his throat. "Arr harr mullanimal, wan tew tree ar
harrr, yer mudder arr harrr, ask me arse ye gobshite aaaaarrrrr... jaynee mack
boy yer right ye know arrr"
Mullanimal grinned and said, "Today me boy, I go back to me roots... they used
to call me Long John Mullanimal and now we must go in search of de Golden blaa
in case it gets into the wrong hands.
Mullanimal set forth in the Deisemobile and on de rrroad... mullanimal said...
"we must find the sea farer who knows where de blaa be, boy aaarrrr... de
pointing man with the rusty hole"
Wellboy thought... "could this be the metal man with his rusty pants? there's
only one metal man and he points and he's got a rusty arse."
They went towards the great beach, now called Tramore and towards the cliffs of Newtown head.
Pictured Above: Mullanimal at the cliffs of Newtown head
Wellboy said to Mully... "Is this yer pointing man"
"Arrr indeedy" said Mullanimal with a half grin and he broke wind and soared
towards the pointing man...
Pictured above: Mullanimal spots the Metal Man and shoots over to it!
"De pointing man, will tell us where the blaa does lay arrrr boy"
Mullanimal stood under the metal man and looked up at a specific angle... he
told Wellboy about the secret spot and to Wellboy's surprise he was met by a
ghastly image.
Pictured above: The Metal Man, well they don't call him that for nothing!
Mullanimal then hopped on one foot round the tower three times and said... south
points his pole and east his hand, north points his head and west to de blaa!
Pictured above: Mully skipping around the Metal Man
Mully said... Wellboy we gotta go West, to the land of the barren rock arrr...
"How far said Wellers to Mully..."
"over 100 miles" he said
"ah shyte said wellboy, pure shyte"
So they drove as fast as the wind from Mullanimals pink fluffy a%$e towards the
Banner
When they got there, they realised that the Mucksavage was already on the trail
of de blaa...
He tried to confuse the two with trickery and skullduggery,
Pictured above: A typical junction in Co. Clare
however Mullanimal was ready for it... he packed his GPS device with him (Gurrier
Protection Service) and it showed them the path to the blaa...
The went towards the Burren, Mullanimal stopped to relieve himself and have a
quick look.
Pictured above: Young Mullanimal relieving himself at the burren
They passed the cliffes of Mo hair and still they did not find it...
Pictured above: Mullanimal at the cliffs of Mo-hair
Then it dawned on Mullanimal..."Jay boy, I buried the golden blaa years ago,
before I was trapped, back in de Deise"
"Well ye little bollix" Wellboy screamed and gave the little fupper a kick in
the pink furballs and sent him hurtling through the air. As punishment, wellboy
put a string around the little feckers neck and drove home using him as a mirror
furry toy thing.
When they got back, Mullanimal said... "when I get the golden blaa and buy me
next luncheon sausage i'm gonna give you some route in the anúas boy aaarrrrr"
Wellboy said, "Ah come on boy, ye ruined me day, I was gonna get me perm done...
Mullanimal took pity on Wellboy and said, "aaarrr harrr, ok me matey, let's go
to the gate of the Dromana, near the Villierstown... we will go there and we
shall get the golden blaaaaaa arrrr"
Pictured above: The safe haven of the Golden Blaa, Dromana Gate, Villierstown
Co. Waterford
So they went to the gate and low and behold the blaa it were there!!!
Mullanimal took the blaa and gave it a dusting and immediately gold dust could
be seen glittering... they collected what they could and headed back to the big
smoke and sure didn't they stop in port law to convert the gold to money... and
sure didn't the locals give the two fools leather money...
They got back to the city and went to buy a few sangwiches with the leather
money and yer wan behind the counter said, ye can shove them bits of leather
between the cheeks of yer you know what before I put any red lead in a blaa fer
yee gobshites.
The two lads sat broken hearted outside and sighed"
Damn you O Cursed Golden Blaa!!!
To be continued...